Posted on 3 Sep 2019, 11:57 AM

Interesting opinions…

I’ve done a bit of online dating, as well as all sorts of other forms. Here are my suggestions - from the perspective of a young professional man with several serious relationships under his belt.

1 - First date is a drink. Coffee or alcohol doesn’t matter, but it must, must, must be a drink. “A” drink is an undefined experience, so if things aren’t going well you can finish, say thanks, and be on your merry way. You’re not tied in to a multi-hour expedition with someone you discovered to be totally incompatible half way through the salad. However, if things are going well, you can spend as much time together as you’d like until other responsibilities unavoidably intrude. Movies should be avoided - you’re spending time together but not actually spending time together. Least efficient way to get to know someone ever. Even being chaperoned by someone’s grandmother gives you more information.

2 - Online dating is simply an introduction service - have no expectations and realize that success is a second date. Email/instant messaging/phone are horrendous ways to get to know someone as they convey very limited amounts of information. Nuances are flattened - which can be a blessing or a curse - and you do not grasp the real person with whom you are dealing. Meet for a drink as soon as practicable if your communications don’t send you running for the hills. You aren’t looking for a pen pal, you’re looking for a significant other and possibly a spouse. People have also been known to use old/fake/unrepresentatively attractive angles for their profile photos - you’ll be in a relationship with them, not their best photo/favorite catalog model, so meet quickly.
Posted on 24 Jul 2020, 4:34 PM